Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Stress is literally eating away at my sanity

I'm freaking out, and it's not pretty.

I am so stressed today.
It would be ridiculous to try to make anybody understand the myriad of reasons for my stress... some of them are kind of odd.
Still, everything adds up.

The stress has been building this past weekend, and now it's unbearable.

To begin, I have midterms this week.
Three midterms to be exact... and then one test.
That's technically four tests within the span of four days...
...which amounts to a lot of studying, and stress, of course.

My family is barely responding to my texts.
I haven't seen them for almost two weeks now, and it's really bugging me that I haven't been able to keep in contact with them.
They seem to always be too busy, or never check their phones.

I can't verify my old Final Fantasy XI account.
I recently have been having dreams and aching nostalgia for this game, and now I've learned that I might not ever be able to get my account back.
Turns out you need the first or last 4 digits of your credit card number, the registration code, or your ID.
I don't remember my ID.
The credit card I used to pay with is deactivated and has been shredded ages ago.
My registration code has been lost for almost 6 years.
There is some remote chance that I have my ID at home on my old computer, but I won't be there to retrieve it for three days.
Keep in mind that this is three days of extreme stress...
Three... long... days...

People are incompetent.
I was supposed to meet with someone about my progress in certain classes.
They called me up yesterday and made a 2pm appointment.
I show up at 1:30pm and find out that the guy is in class, and the secretary also says that I wasn't even in the logbook.

I can't visit my highschool.
I know that seems weird, but I'm technically not permitted to visit my highschool because of my exboyfriend.
When we were together, I soon realized that he had a severe case of depression. I spent a lot of time trying to convince him to get help, which didn't work.
Eventually I couldn't take it anymore and broke up with him.
Things went to hell after that. He became more depressed, and somehow even less inclined to get help.
About half a year later, one of my friends told me that he still talked about me. This really disturbed me.
Last month I spoke to someone, whom I will not name for privacy concerns, and they told me that his mental state was still very bad, and reccommended that I do not visit the highschool for my protection and his sanity.
Needless to say, I'm not going to visit the highschool.
I know how irrational people with mental illnesses can be, and don't want to risk my safety.
The problem is, I have some good friends at the highschool whom I miss dearly, but I'm not comfortable enough to call to hang out with.
It's also really bothering me that I can't visit any of my teachers either.

There are probably some other reasons that I can't think of right now... but they'll start bothering me once I remember them again.

Time to go eat my first meal of the day...


  1. Feel better gurl!!!!

  2. Thanks so much! Thankfully spring break is here so I have plenty of time to relax!