I laid there for some time, assessing my situation. I had no gil, no home, no purpose... and now I had nothing tangible to remind me of my own father, who was already enough of an enigma as is. I had nothing but a bag, a blanket, and the clothes on my back.
I found myself blankly staring at my ink-stained hands for a while, when I realized something profound.
I had something left from my father.
I had... me.
It was in that moment that I found my purpose. My father may have been taken from this world, but I was here. I was alive and well, despite being quite hungry and still a bit soaked from the rain.
I thought back to my mother's words about how I was to be a good housewife and nothing more... Like I was going to let that happen. No, my father fought for Eorzea. Somewhere deep in me I had to have some soldier's blood.
If he could be a Dragoon, so could I.
And here I was, beat-up lance in hand.
I had gone through the Seven Hells and back to get here, worked and toiled to scrape up the gil for a trip to Gridania.
The pain, the hate, the loss, it all led up to this moment.
I let it consume me all at once.
I stabbed, I slashed, I swung my lance around like a madwoman.
With every thrust I heard my mother's voice, berating and putting me down... screaming about how worthless my father was.
No. You were WRONG.
Creature after creature fell before my polearm, like cornstalks yielding to the sickle.
All this time I hated him, when it was really YOU who deserved my ire!
As I slaughtered the pests before me, I felt a sense of power, of confidence, and strangely, relief. It was as if all that pain, all of the ills I had felt up until now and harbored inside me were set free.
I will live up to your legacy, father.
Eventually I fell to my knees, gasping for air. A smile played across my lips as I glanced around me, the corpses of ladybugs, funguars, and squirrels laying about the area.
My fears of not being ready to take on the path of the Lancer were ill-founded after all.
I can do this, I thought as I got to my feet.
And hey, the Guildmaster did say to "attack things with reckless abandon."
I think I did that pretty damn well.