Thursday, May 5, 2011

Pokederp, Gotta Derp Them All!

I'll admit it... I'm a dork.
A dork who still buys the latest Pokemon games.
A dork who still thinks Pokemon can be cute/cool-looking.
A dork who bids on $3 Pokemon plush toys direct from China on eBay.
A dork who has a collection that's slowly taking over the end of my bed, and spreading like a diseased rash.
But I'm a happy person, and that's what really counts, right?

Well, thought I would use my dorkiness to my advantage, and post some of the most hideous, most defective, and just overall most retarded-looking Pokemon plushes I've found while searching on eBay.
A lot of them make you wonder why the seller even bothers.
A lot of them make you wonder how the maker could ever think their product doesn't blatantly scream "knock-off."
A lot of them... well, they just make you say "WHY" in general.

So here goes! A few of the worst Pokemon plushes on eBay!

This poor, poor thing. It just looks like it's unhappy being alive... possibly begging for a merciful death. In USED condition, asking price being $11.

As if the craftsmanship alone didn't scream "I WAS MADE BY 3 YEAR OLDS IN CHINA!"'s PINK. Pikachu is not, and has ever, been pink. Not only that, but it looks like its legs are like... wheelchair wheels or something. I don't know. This is just wrong. Plus... it's USED! Asking price ~$10.

What is wrong with this one? Jon thinks it may be an extra chromosome. One thing's for sure, it has this one derpy eye just going off to the side there, and I'm not really sure what that crease under the eye is about. And that red squiggly thing? That's not a stray thread. That's an eyebrow. Asking price? $10.

Here's a fine example of Chinese bootleg laziness. The one on the right is what it's supposed to look like. The one on the left... the Chinese knock-off. Not only is it missing two pom-poms, but its missing a part of its hairpiece too. Guess the bootleggers didn't seem to care enough. Honestly though, how could you possibly think a fan of Pokemon wouldn't notice a missing NOSE? The most depressing part... they want ~$7 for this thing.

Trust me. There's more.
But I'll save them for tomorrow...

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