Pokederp #2

The derpiness continues...!

Does this actually have one ear, or is one folded back? You think the seller would try to make their product look as legitimate as possible, and fold that other ear back into place. (If there even IS a second ear.) I also always thought that Cabbage Patch Kids would eat me in my sleep, but perhaps I should have been more worried about what they could do to my Pokemon toys... because honestly, this must be the spawn of some indecent acts between the two. The crossed derp-eyes may be the result of incompatible genetics.

All joking aside, the seller wants $22 for this... thing. That's honestly the scariest part of all.

Speaking of horrible combinations of toys and such, am I the only one who feels this has an uncanny resemblance to Tommy from Rugrats? Maybe it's the lighting, but something just seems off about this one. Perhaps it's that strange, off-center bulge where its mouth is... or the fact that it looks like the recipient of a face transplant. (Look at the stitching on its right side, going up to the ear, and you'll see what I mean.) The diagonal stitching on the head-coin and the fact that the two pieces that make up the "whiskers" aren't glued together show its shoddy craftsmanship.

How much for this one? $26.

Poor Meowth just can't get a break.

I honestly don't know what was going through the manufacturer's head when they cleared this one for production. What on earth is up with those LIPS?! The one on the left also has a deformed head with loose fabric, making it look fat and wrinkly. All I know for sure is that if I had gotten this as a present back when the Pokemon fad was raging, I would have been horrified.

So how much is it for your own big-lipped cat thing? The one on the left will set you back a whopping $30... The one on the right, $45.

There WAS another Meowth derp, but sadly it was removed from eBay... probably for being a counterfeit piece of crap.

If I find any more, there will be a Pokederp #3... and trust me, where there are idiots, there is derp.

Pokederp, Gotta Derp Them All!

I'll admit it... I'm a dork.
A dork who still buys the latest Pokemon games.
A dork who still thinks Pokemon can be cute/cool-looking.
A dork who bids on $3 Pokemon plush toys direct from China on eBay.
A dork who has a collection that's slowly taking over the end of my bed, and spreading like a diseased rash.
But I'm a happy person, and that's what really counts, right?
...RIGHT?

Well, thought I would use my dorkiness to my advantage, and post some of the most hideous, most defective, and just overall most retarded-looking Pokemon plushes I've found while searching on eBay.
A lot of them make you wonder why the seller even bothers.
A lot of them make you wonder how the maker could ever think their product doesn't blatantly scream "knock-off."
A lot of them... well, they just make you say "WHY" in general.

So here goes! A few of the worst Pokemon plushes on eBay!

This poor, poor thing. It just looks like it's unhappy being alive... possibly begging for a merciful death. In USED condition, asking price being $11.

As if the craftsmanship alone didn't scream "I WAS MADE BY 3 YEAR OLDS IN CHINA!" ...it's PINK. Pikachu is not, and has ever, been pink. Not only that, but it looks like its legs are like... wheelchair wheels or something. I don't know. This is just wrong. Plus... it's USED! Asking price ~$10.

What is wrong with this one? Jon thinks it may be an extra chromosome. One thing's for sure, it has this one derpy eye just going off to the side there, and I'm not really sure what that crease under the eye is about. And that red squiggly thing? That's not a stray thread. That's an eyebrow. Asking price? $10.

Here's a fine example of Chinese bootleg laziness. The one on the right is what it's supposed to look like. The one on the left... the Chinese knock-off. Not only is it missing two pom-poms, but its missing a part of its hairpiece too. Guess the bootleggers didn't seem to care enough. Honestly though, how could you possibly think a fan of Pokemon wouldn't notice a missing NOSE? The most depressing part... they want ~$7 for this thing.

Trust me. There's more.
But I'll save them for tomorrow...