Made an appointment two weeks earlier than usual with my therapist to discuss PTSD-like symptoms I've been experiencing, and I get stuck in my driveway. After half an hour of digging, placing cardboard under the tires, pouring bird seed everywhere, and crying, there was nothing left to do but call in and say I can't make it.
Well, fuck you, life.
You throw me lemons, and I'll make mixed drinks.
So I present to you, Maddie's Shitty Day Lemonade!
1 bottle of Mike's Hard Lemonade
1 mini bottle of Sour Apple Schnapps
Take two sips from bottle, add bottle of schnapps, drink on couch while watching reruns of Ink Master.
And then Maddie's "Snow Is Still Pretty And Looks Cool When Viewed Through This Drink" Soda!
3/4 of a glass of seltzer
A splash of grenadine syrup (natural)
A splash of raspberry syrup (Polish, not artificial shit)
A generous splash of potato vodka
Mix in a clear glass and then stupidly view the winter wonderland through it while listening to your mother retelling your driveway adventure in overdramatic detail to a friend.
(I also will note that I don't advocate drinking as an alternative to mental health help. This is meant to be a hilarious yet somewhat tragic blog post about my unfortunate day. Other than some nightmares and problems with getting my work done, I'm alright. I just need a good nap. If YOU, however, are having a rough time with mental health, please seek a doctor.)