Crazy Days of Autumn

Life has been crazy lately... thus leaving me little time to update this blog, unfortunately. :[

With Jon in China for the semester, things have been rough. This is the longest we've been apart, and it definitely shows. I'm sure my parents are ready to strangle me, because I can't help but say "Damn, I miss Jon!" out loud at least 5 times a day. The 12-hour time difference doesn't help either. We try to keep in touch through email and Skype, but it's tough because his evenings clash with my classes, as well as my evenings with his. Needless to say, we can't wait for winter break!

I've been taking Biology and Public Speaking this semester at my local community college, and as easy as it may sound... it's not. My Bio teacher is a former teacher of embryological development at another college, and definitely knows her stuff. The class is twice a week, includes a lab, and runs from 11:30am - 2:20am with a 15 minute break in the middle. We have a lab quiz every week, an exam about every three weeks, and two lab practicals (basically my midterm and final, which includes questions about stations with microscopes and models). It's pretty hardcore, but I've managed to keep an A average. Public Speaking has been pretty crazy as well, seeing that public speaking in general is an unpleasant task... I have to say though, running a YouTube channel has actually made me better at it. I'm also sitting on an A average in that class, but heck... If I can't keep an A when I'm only taking two classes at a community college, then I must be doing something very wrong!

In addition to being heartsick and having my head buried in Biology notes, I've been taking on quite a few projects.

1.) My YouTube channel! If you haven't noticed yet, I've been making a boatload of Rage of Bahamut videos for the past couple months. Incredibly, people like them and I've actually managed to waste 1500 hours of peoples' lives. I've never been so proud to do something so horrible! But that aside, it has netted me $40 from ads, and as an unemployed college student living with her parents, any money is good money. I've been trying to upload a new video weekly, which can be kind of tiring because I no longer enjoy RoB as much as I used to. Ah well, it's cash in my pocket.

2.) SHRIMP. TONS OF THEM. Okay, not REAL shrimp, but clay shrimp! I've been in talks for months about doing an order for someone with a restaurant in Costa Rica, and finally we worked all the details out about two weeks ago. I was working like a madwoman to fulfill the order, because I had a deadline to meet: Oct, 20. This wouldn't be that tough, but it was because this wasn't a dozen shrimp... two dozen shrimp... This was an order for 100 CLAY SHRIMP, not only of different sizes, but different ring positions for hanging. I had to hand-sculpt 100 shrimp, put ring pins in 50 of them, head pins in 50 of them, bake them, cut and ring the head pins, and then glaze all of them before packing them away and shipping them off.

25 of the stylized shrimp, glazed and ready to be packed.

Needless to say, it was the most difficult, yet rewarding experience in my crafting career thus far! I have to admit, I did bite off a bit more than I could chew... but after sacrificing all of my free time, some sleep, and a little bit of my sanity, I was able to finish and get them to their destination on time.

3.) My room. Oh my gawd, my room is a disaster. You see, I haven't even been sleeping in my room for months... I sleep on the couch in the basement. Yes, I officially live in my parents' basement... embarrassing to a point, but I don't really feel ashamed of it. Losing 6 years of my life to depression really put me behind schedule in just about everything, which includes cleaning up my room. It's a mess of binders, notebooks, papers, books, and everything else I've amassed since middle school. I've started cleaning it up starting with my bookcase, and after two shelves I'm terrified at the task before me... I already have filled a giant plastic tub with all of my books, half a box with stuff I want to sell, and a box of things I want to keep. There is just so much stuff to sift through, but I keep thinking about the goal of this cleanup: essentially packing up everything for my future life, having a room that only has the things I need now in it, and making some cash. I've already found a vintage 1981 Garfield candle, some jewelry, and discontinued toys among the clutter, along with junk that I can sell at a tag sale for a buck or two.

Not to mention I still need to get onto working on Jon's and my scrapbook of our years together at UNH, get my driver's permit, and various other things....
I swear, sometimes it seems like there's not enough time in the world.

So that's basically my current autumn insanity. I can hardly wait for winter break, where I can just relax!

Oh my freaking fudgebuckets.

First of all, I want to announce...

THE APRIL'S ARMY SHOP OPENS TODAY!!!
The theme this month is "the natural," so I donated this pin to the cause!

ALSO, STOP LEAVING ME SPAM COMMENTS.

I had to delete 8 comments yesterday because they were all literally copy-and-pasted, word for word from my posts, with a link to crappy prescription websites in their name.

PEOPLE COME HERE FOR CRAFTS, NOT VIAGRA.

Pokederp #4

We'll start this post of Pokederp with a few plushes that aren't messed up. Look at them closely, because you'll need this for comparison.

In birds, the soft, fleshy part above the beak is called the "cere." It usually has two holes, which are the bird's nostrils.

This Pokemon, Pidove, clearly has a pink cere.

Now...

Here are the offending plushes.

Chinese bootleggers don't really care about facial features, as long as they are there. Pink blobby things above the beak? Can do, and we'll attach them with one piece of pink thread. Who cares if they look like facial testicles.

How much for one of these? $8.



Where does its face end, and body begin? Honestly, who knows? This cheaply made Pikachu will put an $8 dent in your pocket, if you have a thing for awful toys, that is.

This Pokemon is Munna. Nothing wrong with this plush.

BUT...

...you see, Chinese bootleggers are greedy people. If their items are defective, they still want to sell.

This, too, is supposed to be Munna. You can see the outline of where the head-gem-thing is supposed to be, but there is nothing there. In other words, this thing is just a light pink blob with eyes.

The worst part is that these morons have the balls to ask $9 for this piece of trash. I guess they assume it'll be your next DIY project, or something.

Until next time...

Pokederp #2

The derpiness continues...!

Does this actually have one ear, or is one folded back? You think the seller would try to make their product look as legitimate as possible, and fold that other ear back into place. (If there even IS a second ear.) I also always thought that Cabbage Patch Kids would eat me in my sleep, but perhaps I should have been more worried about what they could do to my Pokemon toys... because honestly, this must be the spawn of some indecent acts between the two. The crossed derp-eyes may be the result of incompatible genetics.

All joking aside, the seller wants $22 for this... thing. That's honestly the scariest part of all.

Speaking of horrible combinations of toys and such, am I the only one who feels this has an uncanny resemblance to Tommy from Rugrats? Maybe it's the lighting, but something just seems off about this one. Perhaps it's that strange, off-center bulge where its mouth is... or the fact that it looks like the recipient of a face transplant. (Look at the stitching on its right side, going up to the ear, and you'll see what I mean.) The diagonal stitching on the head-coin and the fact that the two pieces that make up the "whiskers" aren't glued together show its shoddy craftsmanship.

How much for this one? $26.

Poor Meowth just can't get a break.

I honestly don't know what was going through the manufacturer's head when they cleared this one for production. What on earth is up with those LIPS?! The one on the left also has a deformed head with loose fabric, making it look fat and wrinkly. All I know for sure is that if I had gotten this as a present back when the Pokemon fad was raging, I would have been horrified.

So how much is it for your own big-lipped cat thing? The one on the left will set you back a whopping $30... The one on the right, $45.

There WAS another Meowth derp, but sadly it was removed from eBay... probably for being a counterfeit piece of crap.

If I find any more, there will be a Pokederp #3... and trust me, where there are idiots, there is derp.

Pokederp, Gotta Derp Them All!

I'll admit it... I'm a dork.
A dork who still buys the latest Pokemon games.
A dork who still thinks Pokemon can be cute/cool-looking.
A dork who bids on $3 Pokemon plush toys direct from China on eBay.
A dork who has a collection that's slowly taking over the end of my bed, and spreading like a diseased rash.
But I'm a happy person, and that's what really counts, right?
...RIGHT?

Well, thought I would use my dorkiness to my advantage, and post some of the most hideous, most defective, and just overall most retarded-looking Pokemon plushes I've found while searching on eBay.
A lot of them make you wonder why the seller even bothers.
A lot of them make you wonder how the maker could ever think their product doesn't blatantly scream "knock-off."
A lot of them... well, they just make you say "WHY" in general.

So here goes! A few of the worst Pokemon plushes on eBay!

This poor, poor thing. It just looks like it's unhappy being alive... possibly begging for a merciful death. In USED condition, asking price being $11.

As if the craftsmanship alone didn't scream "I WAS MADE BY 3 YEAR OLDS IN CHINA!" ...it's PINK. Pikachu is not, and has ever, been pink. Not only that, but it looks like its legs are like... wheelchair wheels or something. I don't know. This is just wrong. Plus... it's USED! Asking price ~$10.

What is wrong with this one? Jon thinks it may be an extra chromosome. One thing's for sure, it has this one derpy eye just going off to the side there, and I'm not really sure what that crease under the eye is about. And that red squiggly thing? That's not a stray thread. That's an eyebrow. Asking price? $10.

Here's a fine example of Chinese bootleg laziness. The one on the right is what it's supposed to look like. The one on the left... the Chinese knock-off. Not only is it missing two pom-poms, but its missing a part of its hairpiece too. Guess the bootleggers didn't seem to care enough. Honestly though, how could you possibly think a fan of Pokemon wouldn't notice a missing NOSE? The most depressing part... they want ~$7 for this thing.

Trust me. There's more.
But I'll save them for tomorrow...